My Solace

I've been questioning a lot lately about how life works. Not in a poor me, life sucks, kind of way but, more in how society raises us as a whole. For example, society now is mainly based on one of two things: 1. How to make other people happy and 2. Themselves. Now what makes these two things sort of funny is that you can not have one without the other. This subject is sort of like a spectrum; "The spectrum of happiness" we will call it. Now what you can not have is someone who is one hundered percent concerned about other peoples happiness. Why you may ask? Because those who are only concerned of other people will not have time for themselves and therefore will have more self-esteem issues then most people. People who do not take time out of their own lives to treat themselves, make themselves feel happy and always care what others think about them are more prone to think that everyone hates them and that they are not good enough for anyone. Whereas, those who only take time to think about themselves are more likely to end up with a life of loneliness because they could not stop being so prideful and cocky and realize that you should treat others with kindness too. Now as none of these points are scientifically proven they are shown on a day to day basis. Everyone knows there are people in their lives who are either way too nice for their own good or way to stuck up for their own good. As there are the two extreme sides there should be a happy medium. I would say about a large percent of the population, myself included, has a natural tendency to be prideful because they are too focused about their own issues. Bringing up this point, I am not ranting about this to say that everyone has to change, I am ranting about it because I realized something. Being in a relationship I have had to compromise about almost everything. I have had to realize that not everything is meant for me and that he deserves date nights on me also. There is no such thing as a one way street any more, Being in a relationship requires a lot of sacrifice and a lot of kindness and love from both sides of the street. I only say this because Abduls birthday is on Monday. I have been trying to plan something not super big and fancy but something memorable. Everything is going terribly wrong. I mean it is not a huge issue at all because I can still make everything work but, I have realized just how much this man does for me. He takes time out of his day to day crazy stressful day just to make sure that I am doing okay and that I am happy. He brings me food when I am hungry and don't have time to grab some. He writes me cute long paragraphs telling me how much he loves me. He buys me dresses I have been fantasizing over for months. He buys me things that go along with my weird obsessions, (Lion King cake, Lion King shirt). And so so much more. Sometimes I take this for granted because I am too worried about my stresses of the day. However, I do love him and I am so thankful for everything he does for me. I know after a long stressful day that I can come home to his loving arms and that he will do everything in his power to make sure that I am happy. I am so excited to celebrate his birthday and Christmas with him this year and I know that they will be very memorable days for us. I love you and thank you for making my days bearable. I will always appreciate and love you for it. So for counting my blessings today I am so glad I have Abdul in my life because he loves me so much and makes sure that I know it. He is my Solace.